Sometimes I don't have the energy to prove everybody wrong

So yesterday was not one of my better Christmases. It started out pretty good and I had fun at my aunt and uncle's house with my 2 cousins. But I was sitting at their kitchen table trying to eat dessert and I looked down at my hands, and they were blue. Like dark blue. Thinking about it still freaks me out. Completely confused, my mom told me to go run my hands under hot water in the bathroom. A minute into that I felt dizzy, my ears started ringing and it was hard to hear, and I almost passed out.

Needless to say, I made my first trip to the hospital last night. 4 hours later, they told me I had some long name problem with my blood because I ingested too many nitrates somehow. The nitrates attached to my red blood cells, keeping the oxygen from being able to do that. Apparently this is extremely rare and the doctor said she'd only seen 1 other person with the same problem in 18 years. I was really scared the whole time I was there, and am glad it wasn't anything more serious. My hands are almost back to their normal color, though I still feel drained/exhausted. My one wrist is bruised too from where they stuck this really long needle in near my pulse...except the nurse couldn't find whatever it is she needed and spent like 5 minutes moving the needle around INSIDE my skin and I could feel it sticking in my vein and it hurt so bad. I've ever had a problem with needles/blood work when they do it normally in the crook of your arm. But I was in tears while the nurse was doing that, as hard as I tried not to be.

Now I have to fit in more doctor's appointments this coming week along with all the other doctor's appointments I already have, and all the studying I have to do. The anxiety is starting to creep back up and I'm beginning to dread the start of the semester again. I'm so afraid I'm going to forget to do something in terms of submitting all the paperwork etc I need to be able to graduate.I really hope I make it through until April 23rdish when I'm done teaching.