My whole life, I've felt like I don't really fit in. Elementary school through high school I bounced around between different groups of "friends". Played soccer, basketball, softball, threw shot put for a year, did band, chorus, youth group at church. I did all these activities surrounded with people, but I always felt like I was just there; like it didn't really matter one way or another to anyone. I've never had that one person I can turn to no matter what. I've always wondered what it would be like to have someone to just talk to about anything and everything. Someone to go places with. Someone who would know when I was having a bad day or a good day and care about both equally.
And then this summer happened.
I spent an incredible 3 weeks in North Carolina and Nashville with Holly, where we laughed, traveled, sang, shopped, and formed bonds with Sarah, Jedd, Emily and Little Big Town, as well as continuing to form bonds with each other. I finally got to see Mandie again and bring her along for part of the adventure.
I'll never forget being with them. For the first time, I felt wanted. Comfortable. Free. Loved. Happy. Even in the midst of all the sickness and uncertainty and fighting and loneliness that has happened since finishing school in April. For the first time I felt like I was important to someone not because of something I could give them, or do for them. But just because of who I am.
I just need to hold on to this feeling especially when all I can do is sit in my room and cry after my mother tells me that nothing that matters to me is important, I'm not focused enough on my life and things that actually matter and how she doesn't want to hear me complain anymore because she can't take it, and then she acts like she never said any of that/it never happened.
I don't know what I'd do without Holly. (Or Mandie, even Rob) Or without Sarah's encouragement and essentially, love, that has come unexpectedly at just the right moments.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
You don't have to be struck to leave a mark
I wonder if there will ever be a day that my mother doesn't tear me apart. Or if there will ever be a day where she stops treating me like I'm 12. Her favorite things to do are use the words lazy, selfish, heartless, ugly and ungrateful to describe me. Her other favorite thing to do is tell me she doesn't know why she bothers with me anymore.
How many more times can she break me? Yell at me that I'm never honest with her and then when I honestly tell her how she makes me feel, yell at me some more to tell me how I exaggerate and twist her words.
Sometimes I can't help but think about how I wasn't supposed to be here. How my mom was supposed to be too old to have kids. But here I am. Why? I wish I knew.
In the words of Sarah, I guess I'm still learning "the art of tunnel vision" and "cutting those feelings off at the knees".
How many more times can she break me? Yell at me that I'm never honest with her and then when I honestly tell her how she makes me feel, yell at me some more to tell me how I exaggerate and twist her words.
Sometimes I can't help but think about how I wasn't supposed to be here. How my mom was supposed to be too old to have kids. But here I am. Why? I wish I knew.
In the words of Sarah, I guess I'm still learning "the art of tunnel vision" and "cutting those feelings off at the knees".
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
If a girl like me can do it, sister, I believe anybody can
First of all, BUXTON HUGHES ARE THE MOST INCREDIBLE PEOPLE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH. There, I said it. haha They played a free show at the Wolf Den in the Mohegan Sun Casino in Uncasville, CT the other night. I'd never been to this casino before, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. When we got there, I was in awe. This was probably the most beautiful casino I'd ever seen. The sculptures and the art and the decor and everything was just gorgeous! And SO cool. There were a ton of restaurants and neat shops and I'd definitely love to go back some time to be able to see it all, since I spent a majority of the day standing in line for the show since the seating was first come first serve :) The area for the show was actually really neat. It was this open mini amphitheater in the center of the casino. It had like an outer ring when you first walked into it and then a "pit" where you walked 2 steps down and there were more tables and some circular booths on the side. The stage came out of this like mountain that served as the backdrop/back wall of it, and the sides were open so people all over the casino could see in/stand and watch too.
Anyway, nothing really exciting happened until 5pm. I was talking to my dad at the time, telling him that I thought they'd be letting us in soon and if he and my mom didn't come back in time they wouldn't let us all in together. As I finish explaining that to him, I turn around and suddenly there's a small group of people walking by right next to where we're all standing in line. It was Sarah, their manager Betsy and Jedd! Sarah was about to walk in to the little amphitheater and I called her name but she didn't hear me. Then I looked to my left and Jedd was right next to me! I said his name and he turned towards me, and his eyes lit up. He said, "Heyyy girl! How are you?" and came over to give me a big hug. Then he walked into the little amphitheater too and they did sound check. During sound check, they played 2 new songs and I was pretty excited about that. They also did Endless Summer too.
As soon as their sound check was done, and they walked, literally, into the mountain part that was the tiny backstage area, they started letting people inside. I really liked the way they did it because you went up to the woman with the seating chart, and they seated one party at a time like you were at a restaurant. I was about 10th or so in line, and when we got up to her, she asked, "Would you like front row?" haha Uh, yes please! So another lady escorted us down to a table that was right against the stage and under Jedd's microphone! The table had 3 chairs on each side and I sat in the one chair closest to the stage. The stage was set up pretty high so my neck's still feeling it today, but it was totally worth it.
They started the show with Sweet On You, and I was definitely jamming/singing along in my seat haha Towards the end of the song Sarah comes over to sing with Jedd and all the sudden she looks down. I held up the new FB friends sign I made them a little bit and Sarah got a big smile on her face and pointed at me. It was adorable to see her expression change when she saw it was me. It made me feel so glad that I was able to be there.
Then they played That Kind of Day and Woman Like That, which were SO MUCH FUN! Sarah was definitely rocking the harmonica on those. Woman Like That especially sounded great with Jedd and the full band behind them. Seeing them do that one reminded me of Allison, Hannah and Becky when Sarah did that at the ABC tent last year at CMA Fest when we were jamming. :)
Next they did American Daughters, which has recently become one of my favorites of theirs. I used to not like it as much for some reason; maybe I just didn't really appreciate what it all meant? Either way, I've been listening to that song a lot this summer, and the first verse especially, really gets me/makes me feel empowered in a way. When the song started, Sarah was standing next to Jedd and she was singing the first verse. All the sudden, when she got to the lines "If a girl like me can do it sister, I believe anybody can," she looked right at me, pointed and sang those lines to me. In that moment, I felt like I did at the Throwdown tour; like she was really telling me that, like she believed in me.
They also played Full Grown Woman, which is a fairly old school Sarah song, and I was pretty excited about that. Jedd's harmonies on it really added to the song and it was so awesome! I think it was at this point that Sarah started talking about forming Buxton Hughes, and I held up the FB "WE NEED FRIENDS" sign kind of as a part II to the one Holly, Mandie and I made for Throwdown haha Jedd saw it and smiled and I handed it to him and he held it up. He said, "Yes, you should check us out on...well, someone else has said it better than I could." He and Sarah read the sign and were cracking up and Sarah told everyone to "Like" them on Facebook haha I thought Jedd was going to give the sign back and I told him to keep it, but he said, "Nope, I'm going to set it right here," and he stood it up in front of a monitor, where it stayed for the rest of the show haha I love seeing them sing Big Blue Sky, especially when Jedd comes in on "Let's start making plans..."
Then they did Endless Summer, which is probably one of my favorite Buxton Hughes songs. The first time I saw them sing that was in Trenton in April, and the 'full band' version is AWESOME. Jedd sings the second verse now, and it's just full of energy! Sarah busted out the tambourine for it and they were having a blast.
Next they did one of the new songs, called Learning to Love Again. OH MY GOSH. This song is BEAUTIFUL. Each verse just builds on the next and by the end of the song you just feel so invested in it and in the story and it just grabs you. Sarah's voice is emotional on it, if that makes sense. Everyone needs to check out the song in the video below.
Anyway, nothing really exciting happened until 5pm. I was talking to my dad at the time, telling him that I thought they'd be letting us in soon and if he and my mom didn't come back in time they wouldn't let us all in together. As I finish explaining that to him, I turn around and suddenly there's a small group of people walking by right next to where we're all standing in line. It was Sarah, their manager Betsy and Jedd! Sarah was about to walk in to the little amphitheater and I called her name but she didn't hear me. Then I looked to my left and Jedd was right next to me! I said his name and he turned towards me, and his eyes lit up. He said, "Heyyy girl! How are you?" and came over to give me a big hug. Then he walked into the little amphitheater too and they did sound check. During sound check, they played 2 new songs and I was pretty excited about that. They also did Endless Summer too.
As soon as their sound check was done, and they walked, literally, into the mountain part that was the tiny backstage area, they started letting people inside. I really liked the way they did it because you went up to the woman with the seating chart, and they seated one party at a time like you were at a restaurant. I was about 10th or so in line, and when we got up to her, she asked, "Would you like front row?" haha Uh, yes please! So another lady escorted us down to a table that was right against the stage and under Jedd's microphone! The table had 3 chairs on each side and I sat in the one chair closest to the stage. The stage was set up pretty high so my neck's still feeling it today, but it was totally worth it.
They started the show with Sweet On You, and I was definitely jamming/singing along in my seat haha Towards the end of the song Sarah comes over to sing with Jedd and all the sudden she looks down. I held up the new FB friends sign I made them a little bit and Sarah got a big smile on her face and pointed at me. It was adorable to see her expression change when she saw it was me. It made me feel so glad that I was able to be there.
Then they played That Kind of Day and Woman Like That, which were SO MUCH FUN! Sarah was definitely rocking the harmonica on those. Woman Like That especially sounded great with Jedd and the full band behind them. Seeing them do that one reminded me of Allison, Hannah and Becky when Sarah did that at the ABC tent last year at CMA Fest when we were jamming. :)
Next they did American Daughters, which has recently become one of my favorites of theirs. I used to not like it as much for some reason; maybe I just didn't really appreciate what it all meant? Either way, I've been listening to that song a lot this summer, and the first verse especially, really gets me/makes me feel empowered in a way. When the song started, Sarah was standing next to Jedd and she was singing the first verse. All the sudden, when she got to the lines "If a girl like me can do it sister, I believe anybody can," she looked right at me, pointed and sang those lines to me. In that moment, I felt like I did at the Throwdown tour; like she was really telling me that, like she believed in me.
They also played Full Grown Woman, which is a fairly old school Sarah song, and I was pretty excited about that. Jedd's harmonies on it really added to the song and it was so awesome! I think it was at this point that Sarah started talking about forming Buxton Hughes, and I held up the FB "WE NEED FRIENDS" sign kind of as a part II to the one Holly, Mandie and I made for Throwdown haha Jedd saw it and smiled and I handed it to him and he held it up. He said, "Yes, you should check us out on...well, someone else has said it better than I could." He and Sarah read the sign and were cracking up and Sarah told everyone to "Like" them on Facebook haha I thought Jedd was going to give the sign back and I told him to keep it, but he said, "Nope, I'm going to set it right here," and he stood it up in front of a monitor, where it stayed for the rest of the show haha I love seeing them sing Big Blue Sky, especially when Jedd comes in on "Let's start making plans..."
Then they did Endless Summer, which is probably one of my favorite Buxton Hughes songs. The first time I saw them sing that was in Trenton in April, and the 'full band' version is AWESOME. Jedd sings the second verse now, and it's just full of energy! Sarah busted out the tambourine for it and they were having a blast.
Next they did one of the new songs, called Learning to Love Again. OH MY GOSH. This song is BEAUTIFUL. Each verse just builds on the next and by the end of the song you just feel so invested in it and in the story and it just grabs you. Sarah's voice is emotional on it, if that makes sense. Everyone needs to check out the song in the video below.
Then it was time for Outside My Window! Sarah introduced the song by saying, "Well now is normally the time where we invite any kids up here to sing the song with us...but I don't see any of those tonight!" haha Then she gave an open invitation to anyone who wanted to to come up and sing it with them. People cheered, including me, and that's when Sarah whipped her head around to look right at me. She said, "Michelle! Do you want to sing? Get on up here!" I can't be sure, but my mouth may or may not have dropped open.
I shot up out of my seat, and grabbed the girl sitting next to me, who I had met/talked to in line all day. We started looking around, trying to figure out how we were going to get on the stage because there weren't little stairs on the side and it was up pretty high. Sarah must have read our minds because she said, "How are you girls going to get up here? Where can you go?" And she looked off to the side at one of the security guys, and he happened to be standing next to the little backstage door that we could get to by walking around the outer circle of tables. So he motioned us over and we hurried over there, weaving through tables and people haha
As we made our way, Sarah announced to everyone that they were going to wait until we got up there to start haha The nice security man let us in the little door and told us to follow the steps in front of us around to the back of the stage. We did, and when we got there, there was Sarah waiting to greet us. She came over to us and in to her mic she said, "MICHELLE BELL SIXTEEEEENNNNN" and then threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug. I was cracking up that she called me by my twitter name in front of everyone. Then she asked the other girl her name, and gave her a big hug. Sarah led us to the front of the stage, where Jedd said hi to us and gave us hugs. By that time, 2 other ladies had joined us too, so it was the 4 of us. Right before Sarah was about to start, I asked her where her tambourine was, and she got it for me to play during the song haha The other 3 girls were standing around Sarah and I was next to the one girl and then next to Jedd, and I was going to stay there and let the other girls get to sing with Sarah. At one point in the beginning half of the song Jedd was playing and laughing right next to me and I turned and played the tambourine off his shoulder haha It was hilarious and we were having a blast.
Also in the beginning half of the song, Sarah kept pointing at Jedd's open mic and she wanted us to sing in to it. It was too high for us because we were all shorter, and Jedd came over and lowered it down haha We didn't know that they actually wanted us to sing it sing it into the mic with them! haha Me and the one girl I was next to kind of tried to sing in to the mic but it was kind of intimidating haha
When we got to the 2nd verse, the 4 of us and Sarah were singing and looking at each other, and when we sang, "Sails in the sunlight, rocking in the sweetest motion," Sarah and I did the rocking motion like she does in the video haha Then as we're singing the next line, Sarah started moving around the other girls towards me. When she got to me she put her arm around me and held the mic up to my face. I think I gave her a look like 'What are you doing??' hahaha But Sarah was pretty determined that I was going to sing with her in her mic because she kept holding it up there. With her arm around me we sang "I know I'm dreaming like a child, but some things just don't go out of style...' together and in my mind at that moment I was like 'Wow, I can't believe this is happening.'
Sarah stayed next to me for the rest of the song and there were some points where she'd hold the mic up in between us and one minute we'd be singing together and the next she'd stop singing and make me sing haha I have no idea if you could even hear me because I couldn't really hear anything but the band haha
The whole thing was seriously amazing and SO MUCH FUN. We were all laughing and having a good time and I think the crowd enjoyed it too. When the song was over, Sarah gave me another huge hug and kiss on the cheek. I told her I loved her and she said she loved me too. Jedd gave me a big hug and kiss too and oh man that can definitely happen again in the future. I'd be ok with that haha
The rest of the show went by in a blur. The crowd loved Stupid Boy, and Sarah got everyone on their feet for Full Moon Friday :) Then after the show Sarah went across the front of the stage and shook people's hands and when she grabbed mine she was like 'Michelleeee' and I told her I had stuff for her and she got all excited. She told me to meet them at their merch table. I got in line and I was glad to see that a lot of people had stayed after to get in line to meet them.
My mom and I stood in line a bit and eventually we were next. When the group of women in front of us went up to the table and Sarah looked up, she saw me behind them and said, "Michelle, Michelle, Michelle" and hit the table in excitement haha The one lady in the group needed someone to take a picture for her so Sarah handed me her camera and asked if I'd do it haha After I took her picture and the women said goodbye, it was my turn. Sarah stood up, leaned over the table and grabbed me. While we were hugging, I said, "Thank you so much for your messages" and she said, "Aw you're welcome. How are you?! Are you ok?!" I told her I was doing better and she told me I looked good, which took me by surprise, but thought was so sweet. Then I gave Jedd a big hug and he asked how I was doing haha I tried to play it cool but I was definitely dying on the inside haha
The first thing I did was hand Sarah her (now belated) birthday cards from me and Holly. I said, "So, Holly and I totally had these birthday cards for you in Nashville but clearly that never happened so they're a little late but here you go!" Sarah cracked up and said thank you and as she looks at the cards, she asked me if the one was my handwriting. The one she was looking at was Holly's, so I told her that wasn't mine, it was her's. Sarah flipped out over Holly's handwriting, it was hilarious. "Oh my gosh! That's like, perfect! Wow, that's like scary precise. Oh my gosh!" It was so funny. Then I handed Sarah a note from Holly's 7 year old neighbor that loves her. Sarah got all excited and said she couldn't wait to read it.
After that, I handed Sarah a poem I wrote her. I told her, "And I wrote this poem for you. Because I couldn't really say everything I wanted to say in 140 characters." Sarah opened up the paper to look at it real quick, then clutched the paper to her chest and looked me straight in the eye. She said, "You wrote this?! For me...?!" I nodded my head yes and again she was like "No, you wrote this...for me?!" I laughed and said, "Yes, I wrote this, for you!" She held it against her some more and said, "It's ok that I don't read it now right? I don't want to read it in front of you...I need to have a private moment to read it." haha I told her that was fine as long as she tells me that she read it/what she thinks. She promised me she would.
(As of right now I haven't heard from her about it and I'm dying to know if she read it/what she thought haha Hopefully she really will tell me somehow. Oh and if you want to read it, let me know and I'll send it.)
Then, I gave Sarah and Jedd these pictures I'd made them. What I did, was I dried flowers from the garden in my backyard (purple ones for Sarah and red and yellow tiger lillies for Jedd) and I made the treble clef out of the purple ones, and glued it onto scrapbook paper, which turned out to look almost like a script S. So I used that as the S in Sarah's name and then just wrote out the 'arah' next to it in sharpie. Then I figured out that if I inverted the bass clef, it looked like a script J, so then I wrote the 'edd' of Jedd's name out next to that one the scrapbook paper. I wasn't sure if they'd be able to tell what they were, but when I handed them each theirs their mouths dropped open. I told them where I got the flowers from and that I wanted to make musical symbols out of them and at the same time Sarah and I said 'Treble clef' haha Then she pointed at Jedd's and said "That's the bass clef" so I was relieved lol Betsy thought those were pretty neat too, so I was glad they liked them.
At this point I introduced my parents who were standing behind me, and Sarah and Jedd were excited to formally meet them this time. Sarah told my mom, "We LOVE your daughter" and I missed if my mom had any sort of reaction because I was walking around the table to get in between them for a picture haha My dad reminded Sarah that they'd seen them in Charlotte and that he played the shaker for them and Sarah pointed at him and said, "Ah yes! That was great!" Then Sarah said, "Yeah, we didn't have any drinks spilled this time" which cracked me up haha I said, "Yeah, that other random girl spilled it!" And Sarah cracked up.
Dad handed them a graphic I had made that I had intentions of getting signed, but when they looked at it they thought it was cool and thought that it was for them, so I let them have it haha I didn't really need their autograph again, I'd just made it the night before so I'd have something in case the people were strict about needing to have something to sign if you got in line. Sarah and Betsy said that the pictures I used on it were cool and that they wished people would give them cool pictures they take since they don't have any. My dad took the picture of the 3 of us and handed me the camera to check that it came out ok. Jedd, Sarah and inspected it, and Jedd told me he really liked my camera haha
My mom told them that we're going to their show in western NY at the end of the month and they seemed excited about that. My dad told them that we have a cottage a little over an hour from where the show is, and then I told them that the 3 of them are welcome to stay with us for the show if they want to. My dad told them it's on a lake and all their eyes kind of lit up at that. They seemed to be seriously excited about the offer, so I'm crossing my fingers that maybe it just might happen. I mean, it is a free place to stay. I told Jedd we'd take them out on our boat haha
All the while all this conversation has been going on, Sarah and I just kept hugging each other every few minutes. It was so adorable. We'd kind of just look at each other and start hugging and say 'I love you' haha When we were getting ready to finally say goodbye to them, Sarah turned to me and asked me again if I was doing ok and I told her I was. She said she's been doing yoga more like she promised and I told her I'd been walking more like I promised. Then when we were really saying goodbye I told her I was serious about them staying with us and to just let me know and she said she would. And I reminded her again about the poem and she said she'd let me know about that too. So my fingers are definitely crossed about both of those things. We hugged and said I love you like 3 more times and I'm proud of myself that I didn't start to cry even though I wanted to ha I gave Jedd a few more hugs as well and he told me to be safe. I said goodbye and thank you to Betsy and went outside the little gate to my parents.
My dad was talking to the one guitarist, who actually played with Danny Gokey when he opened for Sugarland when my dad and I went to see them in May! haha My dad was all excited that he recognized him, although I was frustrated with my dad that he never asked the guy his name. The guy was SO nice though. He seriously couldn't say enough good things about Jedd and Sarah and how he loved playing with them and that he hopes he can do it again soon. He said that they're working on a record deal that would be huge for them. He said that they're a pretty big deal in Nashville and just kept going on and on about how talented they were and how genuine they were. He said that if things work out with this record deal and all that stuff, that he thinks they could really be the next HUGE country duo in the next year or two because they're that good. Talking with him, I just felt so proud of Sarah and Jedd. I hope all that comes true because knowing Sarah and Jedd, they'd just be as real as they are now and they truly deserve amazing success.
What a night! I can't wait until August 28th to see them again!
I shot up out of my seat, and grabbed the girl sitting next to me, who I had met/talked to in line all day. We started looking around, trying to figure out how we were going to get on the stage because there weren't little stairs on the side and it was up pretty high. Sarah must have read our minds because she said, "How are you girls going to get up here? Where can you go?" And she looked off to the side at one of the security guys, and he happened to be standing next to the little backstage door that we could get to by walking around the outer circle of tables. So he motioned us over and we hurried over there, weaving through tables and people haha
As we made our way, Sarah announced to everyone that they were going to wait until we got up there to start haha The nice security man let us in the little door and told us to follow the steps in front of us around to the back of the stage. We did, and when we got there, there was Sarah waiting to greet us. She came over to us and in to her mic she said, "MICHELLE BELL SIXTEEEEENNNNN" and then threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug. I was cracking up that she called me by my twitter name in front of everyone. Then she asked the other girl her name, and gave her a big hug. Sarah led us to the front of the stage, where Jedd said hi to us and gave us hugs. By that time, 2 other ladies had joined us too, so it was the 4 of us. Right before Sarah was about to start, I asked her where her tambourine was, and she got it for me to play during the song haha The other 3 girls were standing around Sarah and I was next to the one girl and then next to Jedd, and I was going to stay there and let the other girls get to sing with Sarah. At one point in the beginning half of the song Jedd was playing and laughing right next to me and I turned and played the tambourine off his shoulder haha It was hilarious and we were having a blast.
Also in the beginning half of the song, Sarah kept pointing at Jedd's open mic and she wanted us to sing in to it. It was too high for us because we were all shorter, and Jedd came over and lowered it down haha We didn't know that they actually wanted us to sing it sing it into the mic with them! haha Me and the one girl I was next to kind of tried to sing in to the mic but it was kind of intimidating haha
When we got to the 2nd verse, the 4 of us and Sarah were singing and looking at each other, and when we sang, "Sails in the sunlight, rocking in the sweetest motion," Sarah and I did the rocking motion like she does in the video haha Then as we're singing the next line, Sarah started moving around the other girls towards me. When she got to me she put her arm around me and held the mic up to my face. I think I gave her a look like 'What are you doing??' hahaha But Sarah was pretty determined that I was going to sing with her in her mic because she kept holding it up there. With her arm around me we sang "I know I'm dreaming like a child, but some things just don't go out of style...' together and in my mind at that moment I was like 'Wow, I can't believe this is happening.'
Sarah stayed next to me for the rest of the song and there were some points where she'd hold the mic up in between us and one minute we'd be singing together and the next she'd stop singing and make me sing haha I have no idea if you could even hear me because I couldn't really hear anything but the band haha
The whole thing was seriously amazing and SO MUCH FUN. We were all laughing and having a good time and I think the crowd enjoyed it too. When the song was over, Sarah gave me another huge hug and kiss on the cheek. I told her I loved her and she said she loved me too. Jedd gave me a big hug and kiss too and oh man that can definitely happen again in the future. I'd be ok with that haha
The rest of the show went by in a blur. The crowd loved Stupid Boy, and Sarah got everyone on their feet for Full Moon Friday :) Then after the show Sarah went across the front of the stage and shook people's hands and when she grabbed mine she was like 'Michelleeee' and I told her I had stuff for her and she got all excited. She told me to meet them at their merch table. I got in line and I was glad to see that a lot of people had stayed after to get in line to meet them.
My mom and I stood in line a bit and eventually we were next. When the group of women in front of us went up to the table and Sarah looked up, she saw me behind them and said, "Michelle, Michelle, Michelle" and hit the table in excitement haha The one lady in the group needed someone to take a picture for her so Sarah handed me her camera and asked if I'd do it haha After I took her picture and the women said goodbye, it was my turn. Sarah stood up, leaned over the table and grabbed me. While we were hugging, I said, "Thank you so much for your messages" and she said, "Aw you're welcome. How are you?! Are you ok?!" I told her I was doing better and she told me I looked good, which took me by surprise, but thought was so sweet. Then I gave Jedd a big hug and he asked how I was doing haha I tried to play it cool but I was definitely dying on the inside haha
The first thing I did was hand Sarah her (now belated) birthday cards from me and Holly. I said, "So, Holly and I totally had these birthday cards for you in Nashville but clearly that never happened so they're a little late but here you go!" Sarah cracked up and said thank you and as she looks at the cards, she asked me if the one was my handwriting. The one she was looking at was Holly's, so I told her that wasn't mine, it was her's. Sarah flipped out over Holly's handwriting, it was hilarious. "Oh my gosh! That's like, perfect! Wow, that's like scary precise. Oh my gosh!" It was so funny. Then I handed Sarah a note from Holly's 7 year old neighbor that loves her. Sarah got all excited and said she couldn't wait to read it.
After that, I handed Sarah a poem I wrote her. I told her, "And I wrote this poem for you. Because I couldn't really say everything I wanted to say in 140 characters." Sarah opened up the paper to look at it real quick, then clutched the paper to her chest and looked me straight in the eye. She said, "You wrote this?! For me...?!" I nodded my head yes and again she was like "No, you wrote this...for me?!" I laughed and said, "Yes, I wrote this, for you!" She held it against her some more and said, "It's ok that I don't read it now right? I don't want to read it in front of you...I need to have a private moment to read it." haha I told her that was fine as long as she tells me that she read it/what she thinks. She promised me she would.
(As of right now I haven't heard from her about it and I'm dying to know if she read it/what she thought haha Hopefully she really will tell me somehow. Oh and if you want to read it, let me know and I'll send it.)
Then, I gave Sarah and Jedd these pictures I'd made them. What I did, was I dried flowers from the garden in my backyard (purple ones for Sarah and red and yellow tiger lillies for Jedd) and I made the treble clef out of the purple ones, and glued it onto scrapbook paper, which turned out to look almost like a script S. So I used that as the S in Sarah's name and then just wrote out the 'arah' next to it in sharpie. Then I figured out that if I inverted the bass clef, it looked like a script J, so then I wrote the 'edd' of Jedd's name out next to that one the scrapbook paper. I wasn't sure if they'd be able to tell what they were, but when I handed them each theirs their mouths dropped open. I told them where I got the flowers from and that I wanted to make musical symbols out of them and at the same time Sarah and I said 'Treble clef' haha Then she pointed at Jedd's and said "That's the bass clef" so I was relieved lol Betsy thought those were pretty neat too, so I was glad they liked them.
At this point I introduced my parents who were standing behind me, and Sarah and Jedd were excited to formally meet them this time. Sarah told my mom, "We LOVE your daughter" and I missed if my mom had any sort of reaction because I was walking around the table to get in between them for a picture haha My dad reminded Sarah that they'd seen them in Charlotte and that he played the shaker for them and Sarah pointed at him and said, "Ah yes! That was great!" Then Sarah said, "Yeah, we didn't have any drinks spilled this time" which cracked me up haha I said, "Yeah, that other random girl spilled it!" And Sarah cracked up.
Dad handed them a graphic I had made that I had intentions of getting signed, but when they looked at it they thought it was cool and thought that it was for them, so I let them have it haha I didn't really need their autograph again, I'd just made it the night before so I'd have something in case the people were strict about needing to have something to sign if you got in line. Sarah and Betsy said that the pictures I used on it were cool and that they wished people would give them cool pictures they take since they don't have any. My dad took the picture of the 3 of us and handed me the camera to check that it came out ok. Jedd, Sarah and inspected it, and Jedd told me he really liked my camera haha
My mom told them that we're going to their show in western NY at the end of the month and they seemed excited about that. My dad told them that we have a cottage a little over an hour from where the show is, and then I told them that the 3 of them are welcome to stay with us for the show if they want to. My dad told them it's on a lake and all their eyes kind of lit up at that. They seemed to be seriously excited about the offer, so I'm crossing my fingers that maybe it just might happen. I mean, it is a free place to stay. I told Jedd we'd take them out on our boat haha
All the while all this conversation has been going on, Sarah and I just kept hugging each other every few minutes. It was so adorable. We'd kind of just look at each other and start hugging and say 'I love you' haha When we were getting ready to finally say goodbye to them, Sarah turned to me and asked me again if I was doing ok and I told her I was. She said she's been doing yoga more like she promised and I told her I'd been walking more like I promised. Then when we were really saying goodbye I told her I was serious about them staying with us and to just let me know and she said she would. And I reminded her again about the poem and she said she'd let me know about that too. So my fingers are definitely crossed about both of those things. We hugged and said I love you like 3 more times and I'm proud of myself that I didn't start to cry even though I wanted to ha I gave Jedd a few more hugs as well and he told me to be safe. I said goodbye and thank you to Betsy and went outside the little gate to my parents.
My dad was talking to the one guitarist, who actually played with Danny Gokey when he opened for Sugarland when my dad and I went to see them in May! haha My dad was all excited that he recognized him, although I was frustrated with my dad that he never asked the guy his name. The guy was SO nice though. He seriously couldn't say enough good things about Jedd and Sarah and how he loved playing with them and that he hopes he can do it again soon. He said that they're working on a record deal that would be huge for them. He said that they're a pretty big deal in Nashville and just kept going on and on about how talented they were and how genuine they were. He said that if things work out with this record deal and all that stuff, that he thinks they could really be the next HUGE country duo in the next year or two because they're that good. Talking with him, I just felt so proud of Sarah and Jedd. I hope all that comes true because knowing Sarah and Jedd, they'd just be as real as they are now and they truly deserve amazing success.
What a night! I can't wait until August 28th to see them again!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
