I'd give anything for another endless summer

My whole life, I've felt like I don't really fit in. Elementary school through high school I bounced around between different groups of "friends". Played soccer, basketball, softball, threw shot put for a year, did band, chorus, youth group at church. I did all these activities surrounded with people, but I always felt like I was just there; like it didn't really matter one way or another to anyone. I've never had that one person I can turn to no matter what. I've always wondered what it would be like to have someone to just talk to about anything and everything. Someone to go places with. Someone who would know when I was having a bad day or a good day and care about both equally.

And then this summer happened.

I spent an incredible 3 weeks in North Carolina and Nashville with Holly, where we laughed, traveled, sang, shopped, and formed bonds with Sarah, Jedd, Emily and Little Big Town, as well as continuing to form bonds with each other. I finally got to see Mandie again and bring her along for part of the adventure.

I'll never forget being with them. For the first time, I felt wanted. Comfortable. Free. Loved. Happy. Even in the midst of all the sickness and uncertainty and fighting and loneliness that has happened since finishing school in April. For the first time I felt like I was important to someone not because of something I could give them, or do for them. But just because of who I am.

I just need to hold on to this feeling especially when all I can do is sit in my room and cry after my mother tells me that nothing that matters to me is important, I'm not focused enough on my life and things that actually matter and how she doesn't want to hear me complain anymore because she can't take it, and then she acts like she never said any of that/it never happened.

I don't know what I'd do without Holly. (Or Mandie, even Rob) Or without Sarah's encouragement and essentially, love, that has come unexpectedly at just the right moments.