You're beautiful inside and you're beautiful to me

So today Hilarie Burton posted a new blog on www.sogopro.com (Seriously, the 3 of you who follow this and haven't checked it out, need to, it's so much fun and so awesome) Anyway, she blogged about her best friends and how she doesn't believe in only having 1 best friend because every friend should be "the best" because otherwise, what's the point?

Her post really made me stop and think about all the friends I have had in my life. I've never had just 1 core group of friends. I have always seemed to float in the middle between already established groups, who already had the best friends etched out since birth, it seemed. Even now, still, in college, I have felt more like a placeholder than someone's best friend candidate.

I always longed to and been wary of using the words best friend to describe someone, for fear of scaring them away somehow. Because one thing or another inevitably happens. I used to (and I'll admit, sometimes still do) think that it must have been something I did wrong, that I loved too much, and I'm the reason the friendship fell apart. Despite everything, all the friends I have had, and the ones I do have now mean a lot to me. I'll still hold onto them for as short as I knew them or long as I know them. But now I'm beginning to believe that maybe the ones that hurt me just weren't the people God wanted me to truly label as my best friends.

Although they may not even know it, I'm going to go out on a limb and mention 2 people who I consider my best friends.

I met Hannah 2 years ago in Nashville during CMA Fest. Our shared love of Sugarland brought us together briefly that summer and propelled us into wild adventures that before meeting Hannah, I'm not sure I ever would have anticipated in my life. She is a beautifully spirited, dedicated girl who loves fun and laughter and music and people and especially all at one time. She is not afraid to dream and let people know it. I think Hannah is courageous, smart and hard working. She believed in me when almost no one else did, and I'm not sure if she knows how much that meant to me.

I really regret that school has kept me so busy because I feel like I haven't really talked to Hannah in awhile. I really miss her. I have no idea really when I'll see her again, though I'm hopeful for this summer somehow. If you ever see this, Hannah, I miss you girly. Thank you for everything, especially for being there for some of my best memories. I really hope we make some more again soon.

The other person I thought of right away was Holly...who I actually owe Hilarie for meeting. When I convinced my parents to take me to Wilmington last March for spring break, I simply wanted to see the beautiful town where my favorite TV show filmed. I never bargained for being able to extra and meeting someone who has become my best friend. Besides the fact that I love Hilarie and hope to meet her some day, I hope to meet her to say thank you for essentially bringing me Holly. Holly is also a beautifully spirited girl, full of kindness. She is funny, patient, loving, supportive, and generous.

Our endless conversations are full of everything, and nothing, and that's what makes them special. Our shared love of the arts and books always leads us on random tangents usually including favorite quotes or videos. Those chats are what got me through my last 2 semesters and I know they're what's going to get me through this last one. We are both in a point in our lives where change is lurking, and I hope that change brings us closer together geographically. But I know that either way, Holly will be there for me. We often joke that we have the same brain because we'll say the same exact thing at the same exact time and it is just really special to have that connection with someone. I haven't even technically known her a year, but I can't imagine not knowing her now.